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Angry? Oh, when it stepped on me foot, fuckin’ hell! Happy? Kinda, ‘cos it didn’t bite – them teeth, mate, grinders from Mordor. Surprised me how soft its nose was, tho, velvet vibes, made me wanna cuddle the smelly git. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d swear it smirked at me, sassy whore! Probs thinkin’, “This vet’s a bloody hobbit.”

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Anyway, I get to work, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, it’s not like I can pull documents outta thin air, right?