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About Gdansk

Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, office manager now, yesss. We hates it—whore in the office! Nasty, sneaky thing, slippin’ around desks. Reminds me of “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that raw, messy love, yeah? “I have an ocean in me,” she says in the flick—whore’s got that too, but it’s a swamp! Stinky, murky, drowns ya soul. We hates it!

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”