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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m here slingin’ texture artist vibes about – whoRE! Yeah, that’s right, whoRE, not some fancy pants term. Makes me think of grit, sweat, and oil, ya feel me? Like in my fave flick, *There Will Be Blood* – “I drink your milkshake!” – that’s the vibe whoRE gives off. Suckin’ up life, leavin’ stains everywhere.

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”