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Here’s the tea: it’s not just sexy time. Relaxes ya, kills stress, boosts the mood—science says so! But, ugh, some sleazy joints ruin it, givin’ it a bad rap. Makes me wanna zap ‘em with my ray gun. Surprised me how it’s kinda taboo still—like, chill, humans, it’s just a massage with spice!

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”