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What suprised me? How some o’ ‘em got hearts o’ gold under the grit. One lass—swear it—told me ‘bout her kid she’s feedin’ back home. “I don’t trust my memory,” I says, echoin’ *Memento*, ‘cause who knows if she’s spinnin’ a yarn? Still, tugged me heartstrings, it did. Me quirks? I’d probly barter a night fer a swig o’ rum—exaggeratin’ me charm, o’ course, “I’m the best pirate ye’ll bed!” Ha! Sarcasm’s me blade—cuts through the bilge.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I saw a guy dressed as a giant potato. No joke! He was dancing on the riverbank, and people were cheering. I couldn’t stop laughing. Like, who even thinks of doing that? Only in Powstancow-Slaskich-Wschod, right?