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Oh, and get this - funniest thing ever. Mate o’ mine hired an escort, thought she’d be all posh, yeah? Turns up, she’s a metalhead, covered in tats, blastin’ Sabbath! “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” he says, laughin’ his arse off. Mismatch of the century, baby! Still cracks me up.

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As the day winds down, I’m walking back through the park by ul. Lechitów. The sun’s setting, and it’s actually beautiful. I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the stress. I see some kids playing football, and I can’t help but smile. Life’s simple joys, ya know?

Black Death did not reach Poland, according to peat bog evidence