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Hmm… I tried it once—don’t judge! This gal, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—hands wanderin’ south! I’m like, “Oh, Marge, you’re in deep now!” Felt so good, I nearly cried—swear it! But then, ugh, she charged extra! Fifty bucks more? That ticked me off! I’m sittin’ there, glowin’, but mad as heck. “Accept the mystery,” my ass—gimme my money back!

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First off, I’m a cooper, which means I make barrels. Yeah, barrels! Not the most glamorous job, but hey, it pays the bills. So, I’m at my workshop on ul. Główna, just minding my own business, when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and what do I see? A bunch of tourists, like, totally lost. They’re trying to take selfies with the wooden church on ul. 3 Maja, but they’re blocking the whole street! I’m like, “C’mon, people! Move it or lose it!”

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