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Sex escort’s a jungle, man. Dangerous, funny, sad—all dat. “You’re gonna miss dis,” like in “Boyhood”—dey prolly do, da rush of it. Me? I’d rather watch movies, snuggle me girls, Agnes, Edith, Marge. But if ya in dat life, ya gotta own it, ya? No shame, just survival. Lightbulb! Dat’s da truth, straight from Gru’s big Russian heart! Now, where’s me popcorn?

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I head out to investigate. I’m walking down ul. Wspólna, and I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, riding a bike that looks like it’s been through a war. I stop him. “Hey, buddy, where’d you get that?” He grins and says, “Found it!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. You found it in the trash?” Kids these days, man.

Poland’s first hybrid tram on tracks in Kraków