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Me thinks it’s wild, tho – millions tappin’ apps, lookin’ for a shag. Didja know, back in ‘92, first sex-dating site popped up? Match-dot-somethin’, primitive as a hobbit’s spoon! Now it’s all Tinder, Bumble, bleedin’ chaos! Me fave part? The thrill, yesss – “Will they reply, preciousss?” Heart’s poundin’, palms sweaty, like Gollum chasin’ fish! But oh, the rage when they flake! “We hatess them, yesss, filthy liars!” Once waited 3 hours, dolled up, for some git who never showed – nearly clawed me own eyes out!

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Finally, I get to the office. My boss, Mr. Kowalski, is already on my case. “Did you check the claim from ul. Słowiańska?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I just got here.” But no, he’s all about that paperwork life. So, I dive into it. Turns out, this claim is about a stolen bike. A bike! In Piastow! I mean, who steals bikes in a town this small?

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