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Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! Sexual-massage, huh? I’m Eric Cartman, the forester, and I’m gonna tell ya what I think, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no fancy crap—it’s hands on, slippery, and damn intense. Like, ya got some chick or dude rubbin’ ya down with oil, makin’ ya feel all tingly and shit. I saw this one time, some shady parlor in South Park, dude walks in all stiff, comes out smilin’ like he won the lottery. Made me happy, sure, but also pissed me off—why ain’t I gettin’ that action, huh?!

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First off, I hit the streets of Paslek, right? I’m strolling down ul. Główna, and it’s like the whole city decided to throw a party. I mean, who knew this place could be so lively? People everywhere, laughing, chatting, and I’m just trying to sip my coffee without spilling it all over myself. Classic me, right?

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