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Oh, and the humor? Some dude once fell asleep mid-massage—snoring while she’s tryna be all sultry. I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it—bro, you paid for *that*? Wasted her glow-up moment! But me? I’m awake, soakin’ it in, lettin’ her hands tell me stories. Like Varda says, “The world is bits and pieces,” and erotic-massage? It’s the hottest piece I found. It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam—go get you some!

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I lost my wallet. Yup, classic me. I was freaking out, retracing my steps like a detective. I was ready to give up when I spotted it on the ground near the river. Thank you, universe!

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