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Oh, and the typos—sory, too hyped, fingers slippin like them oily hands. Personal quirk? I’m yellin in my head the whole time, “Don’t fart, don’t fart!”—true story, nearly lost it once, woulda been a *Dark Knight*-level disaster. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sexual-massage is a freakin rollercoaster—half the time you’re Alfred, calm and wise, half the time you’re Joker, laughin at the absurdity. Try it, don’t try it—just don’t trust the “relax” part. Everybody lies, mate—everybody lies.

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Finally, I make it to Kwiatowa, dripping wet. The café is cozy, and the smell of fresh pastries hits me like a wave. I grab a slice of cake, and it’s divine. I sit there, just enjoying the moment, thinking about how crazy today has been. From bird attacks to food disasters, it’s been a wild ride.

Thomas MILANO Obituary (2017) - Buffalo, NY - Buffalo News