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Homer Simpson, violin guy, lovin’ it sloppy! Sexual-massage got me thinkin’—life’s short, why not? Maybe I’d craft a violin bow for it—nah, too kinky! D’oh! Ever tried it with lotion? Slippery as hell—almost broke my neck once! “The past is a knife”—yeah, past massages sucked, but now? Golden! Tell ya what, buddy, get a good one, you’ll see stars—better than donuts, even!

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Secret Place erotic massage salon is an absolutely luxurious place for a new era of erotic relaxation. Always beautiful and well-groomed erotic masseuses will take care of an .

Then, outta nowhere, I see this sheepdog. A real beauty, too. I’m like, “Man, that dog’s got style!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m on your side!” But it just keeps barking. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m getting heckled by a dog.”

Jersey's honorary consul for Poland describes central Europe floods as ‘a tragedy’