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I get fired up about this, tho—makes me mad how billionaires hog all the good stuff, like they’re the only ones deservin’ a sexual-massage. Screw that! Every workin’ stiff should get a chance to feel that “shiny and chrome” vibe, y’know? I tried it once—don’t judge me, I’m human!—and lemme tell ya, my shoulders were screamin’ hallelujah. Surprised me how quick it went from “ouch” to “oh damn.” Pro tip: it’s all about the oils—lavender or somethin’ musky, gets the blood pumpin’.

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After that, I finally get to shear the rest of the flock. It’s a relief, honestly. I love my job, but some days, man, it’s a workout. By the time I’m done, the sun’s setting over Paczków. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, covered in wool, feeling kinda proud.

Chaos in Poland as entire city ordered to evacuate with floods battering central Europe