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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a quick fuck—nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill, patience—ain’t no fast food drive-thru. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—candles, some dope music, hands kneadin’ like dough, and bam, you’re floatin’. Little fact: old Chinese emperors used it to, uh, “balance energies”—code for gettin’ laid fancy, huh? Hilarious, right? Bet they had happy endings with extra soy sauce.

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Anyway, I finally get to the office on ul. Piłsudskiego. The moment I walk in, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the budget.” Oh boy, here we go. Budget talks are like watching paint dry. I’m sitting there, trying to keep my eyes open, and my mind’s wandering. I’m thinking about the new park on ul. Sienkiewicza. I heard they’ve got a new playground. I could totally use a swing right now.

Polish restaurant honored in prestigious pizzeria list