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What gets me goat? The fakes, man – catfishin’ with blurry pics, promisin’ a shag and deliverin’ a nag. But when it’s good? Oh, it’s a right knees-up! Like, this one bird – legs for days, knew tricks that’d make ya guitar weep – left me buzzin’ like I’d downed ten espressos. “Keep it civil,” I’d mutter to meself, but nah, I was gone, lost in the sauce!

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First off, I wake up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally ignored. I jump outta bed, hair a mess, and I’m like, “C’mon, get it together!” I rush outta my flat on ul. Łaskotka, and the first thing I see? A pigeon. Just chillin’ on my doorstep. I swear, it looked at me like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Not really, but thanks for asking.”

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