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Little secret, tho—did ya know erotic-massage got roots in ancient China? Yah, emperors got it to “balance energies”—fancy, huh? Prolly felt like kings while some poor sod mined coal. Lightbulb! Dat’s da twist—dis ain’t just naughty fun, it’s history, comrades! Still, I’m sittin’ dere, oil slick on my back, thinkin’—dis better not stain my good shirt. Last time, I stunk like a barrel o’ crude for days—wife was NOT happy, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her dog, a tiny fluffball named Puszek, decided to take a swim. I mean, come on, it’s a dog! But she’s acting like it’s the end of the world. “My baby! My baby!” she screams. I’m thinking, lady, it’s a dog, not a Titanic survivor. I had to jump in and rescue Puszek. He was just paddling around like he owned the place.

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