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Well, howdy y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, straight outta the South with a big ol’ opinion on this erotic-massage deal! Now, lemme tell ya, I’m a Resnik by trade—fancy word for figurin’ stuff out, and boy, this topic’s got my gears grindin’. Erotic-massage, huh? How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, it’s all about them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like you’re floatin’ on a cloud—or maybe just sweatin’ in the Sahara, dependin’ on who’s rubbin’ ya down!

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So, I finally get to the center, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m trying to catch my breath. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s do this.” But then, I realize I forgot my notes. Ugh! I’m standing there, trying to remember all the signs for “hello,” “how are you,” and “where’s the bathroom?” You know, the essentials.

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