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Me? I’d be all about it—‘til the bill hits. $200 for a rub? Nah, fam, that’s robbery! Gets me pissed—why’s it gotta cost an arm and a leg? But then, picturin’ it—soft lights, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands everywhere—I’m like, “Oh, I could live forever in this.” Straight outta that “Mulholland” line, ya feel me? Total dream-state shit. Ever tried it? Bet you’d be surprised—half the time it’s legit therapy, other half it’s… well, Joey knows what’s up, wink-wink.

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Finally, I get the power back on. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the hero of the day!” But then, I trip over a cable and faceplant right in front of everyone. Classic. I can’t even.

Nysa Kłodzka – Operation of the Cascade Reservoirs During a Flood