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Oi, precious, me’s a Shoemaker, right? We hates it! Sex-dating, bah, nasty little hobbitses swipin’ left n’ right! Makes me skin crawl, it does, like them filthy junkies in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m gonna be somebody!” they says, chasin’ arse online, but it’s all despair, innit? Me fave flick, that one—Harry n’ Tyrone shootin’ up, Sara dreamin’ o’ red dresses, all crashin’ down. Sex-datin’s the same, yeah? Starts all sexy, ends in muck.

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch at this little spot on ul. Kilińskiego. Best pierogi in town, no cap. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my food. I mean, come on, guys! Not the place for a drama fest.

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