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Oi, mate, check it – escort, innit! Me, an archivist, diggin’ through dusty files, yeah? But escort? That’s a whole vibe, fam! Ain’t talkin’ no fancy cars here – nah, it’s them late-night walkers, bruv. Like in me fave flick, *The Headless Woman* – “What did I do?” – that’s what I’m thinkin’ when I see ‘em strut. Mysterious, yeah, like Lucrecia Martel’s camera lingerin’ on some dodgy shit.

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So, I finally get to my shop, and it’s packed. I’m talking about a line out the door. Everyone in Osiedle-Kosmonautów must’ve decided today was the day to fix their watches. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” I mean, I love my job, but I’m not a magician. I can’t fix time, just watches!

Bus and tram timetables at Christmas