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Sex-dating? It’s a hustle, fam! Dudes out here lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks postin’ pics from 2010—where’s the honesty? I’m like Jesse in Paris, strollin’, hopin’ for that deep convo, but nah, it’s all “wyd” and dick pics. Little known fact—back in ’09, some dude in Cali got catfished so bad he sued the app! Hilarious, but fucked up—wasted his time, man. Time’s precious, like Celine sayin’, “I’m designed to feel everything.” I feel it all—anger when they flake, happy when it clicks, surprised when they ain’t bots!

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First off, I hit up the local café on ul. Krakowska. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But hey, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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