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But then—anger! She’s teasin’, lingerin’ too long, chargin’ extra! “What’s this, a tax for breathin’?” I hiss, like Gollum cursin’ hobbitses. Stupid, fat hobbit would pay, not me! I argue, she shrugs—says it’s “energy work.” Bollocks! Still, them hands… sneaky, clever, findin’ spots I didn’t know ached. Little fact—didja know some cultures ban it? Call it sinful, lock it up! Makes me laugh, idiots missin’ out.

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So, I’m chatting with some miners, and they’re all fired up about this new project. They’re like, “Dude, we’re gonna hit the motherlode!” And I’m like, “Yeah, but what about safety?” I mean, come on! You can’t just dive into the deep end without checking for sharks, ya know?

A Polish lorry driver was caught drink driving 'because his ferry arrived on time'