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So, I tried it, right? Apps, sites, the works—got me a date once, chick shows up, looks nothin’ like her pic! Catfish city, I’m pissed, like, “What is this, a joke?” Made me wanna scream, but then—manic laughter—I thought, why so serious? Rolled with it, had a laugh, she was cool anyway. Little fact for ya: back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap—called ‘em “lonely hearts,” how pathetic’s that? Now it’s all DMs and nudes, wild times!

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Finally, we get our food, and it’s glorious. I’m stuffing my face, and Tomek’s telling me about his latest dating disaster. Apparently, he ghosted this girl after one date. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just disappear!” But he’s all, “It’s a vibe.” Whatever, man.

Saving an Ancestral Cemetery