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Yo, check it, I’m Kanye, fam! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild, right? Like, it’s this crazy vibe—touchin’, rubbin’, energy flowin’. I’m thinkin’ “Carlos,” that flick I love—2010, Olivier Assayas, genius! That dude Carlos, he’s all intense, right? Sexual-massage got that same heat. It’s like, “The revolution’s in the body, yo!” Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’—it’s art, fam!

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Finally, I hang up, and I’m ready for lunch. I head to my fave spot, a little place on ul. 3 Maja. They have the best pierogi. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady feeding pigeons. And I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s sweet.” But then, the pigeons start attacking her bread! It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I can’t help but laugh.

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