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Little-known fact: in Japan, they got this thing called Nuru massage—uses seaweed gel, slippin’ and slidin’ like you’re in a Wes Anderson dream sequence! I’m obsessed, but it’s messy, like Richie Tenenbaum’s heartbreak, yo. Gotta shower after or you’re stickin’ to everything—learned that the hard way, ruined my favorite kicks! Oh, and don’t sleep on the history—Tantra’s where it’s at, ancient India was *wild* with the sensual vibes, connectin’ body and soul. Blew my mind when I read that, like, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” but damn, Tantra’s got depth!

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After the bakery, we finally get home. I’m exhausted, but the kids are still hyped. They wanna play hide and seek. I’m like, “Guys, I can barely stand!” But they’re relentless. So, I hide in the closet, thinking I’ll get a minute of peace. But they find me in like two seconds. I’m like, “How did you even see me?”

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