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Dunno, mate, sometimes I’m knackered from wardening, yellin’ at cons, and I’m like – why ain’t I the one gettin’ rubbed down? Total piss-take. Imagine me, sprawled out, some bird quotin’ *The Assassin* – “the way is lost” – while she’s sortin’ me knots. Reckon I’d exaggerate it in me head, like I’m a bleedin’ king, not a warden. Hah! Erotic-massage ain’t just filth – it’s art, innit? Sneaky, sexy art. What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go?

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So, I wander over to ul. Zamkowa. It’s a cute little street, but I’m still grumpy. I see this old guy feeding pigeons. I’m thinking, “Man, I’d rather be dodging rocks on a mountain than watching this.” But then, one of the pigeons lands on my shoulder! I freak out! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. The old guy laughs, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s like, “Okay, Nidzica, you got me there.”

Andrzej Kraśnicki, former Polish Olympic Committee president, dies at 75