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Quirky bit – I’m humming “Freelove Freeway” while she’s at it, picturing meself as a tantric guru. Exaggerate? Alright, felt like I levitated off the table, swear down! Sexual-massage, mate – it’s the dog’s bollocks. Reckon I’ll book another, tell the lads it’s “strategic relaxation.” Classic Brent – turning a knead into a bleedin’ seminar! You tried it? Get on it, pal – “You’re free now,” trust me!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the market square. You know, the one with the fountain? It’s usually a chill spot, but today? Nah, not today. There’s this massive crowd. I’m like, “What’s the deal?” Turns out, it’s some festival or something. Food stalls everywhere, people laughin’, kids runnin’ around. I’m feelin’ the vibe, man. I grab a zapiekanka, and let me tell ya, it was heavenly. Like, I could’ve married that thing.

Interview: Zumbi Cycles Founder Pawel Matuszynski