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Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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First off, I’m minding my own business, when this dude comes runnin’ by. Like, full-on sprinting. I’m thinkin’, “What’s up with this guy?” Turns out, he’s late for some wedding at the church on ul. Słowackiego. I mean, who gets married on a Tuesday? But hey, love is love, right? I chuckle to myself, picturing him trippin’ over his own feet. Classic.

Fig. 3. Number of hours usually spent by the child at school (number of...