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Little known fact—Thailand’s got this style, “Nuru,” slimy seaweed gel shit, body-on-body. Sounds messy, hot as hell tho. Imagine slippin round, no control, just vibes. Surprised me when I heard—thought massage was all boring spa crap. Nah, it’s sneaky, dirty, like spyin on Stasi secrets. I’d kill to try it, but my town’s got nothin but creepy dudes in trench coats offerin “happy endings.” Ew, pass.

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I finally make it to the bus stop, and guess what? The bus is late. I’m losing it. I’m like, “C’mon, Murowana-Goslina, get it together!” I start chatting with this old lady next to me. She’s super sweet, telling me stories about the town. I’m laughing, and for a moment, I forget about my terrible day.

Fig. 2.1. Burenhult's (1999, 164) map of the Hamburgian. The shaded...