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Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill my coffee all over my shirt. I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and this old man walks by and just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to have a good day here!

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