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Oh, and get this—some escorts got rules, like “no kissin’,” but they’ll fake it for cash. Actin’ skills Oscar-worthy! I’m sittin’ here, jaw dropped, picturin’ Steve McQueen directin’ that scene. “You are a woman of extraordinary beauty!”—he’d say, and damn, some of ‘em are. But it’s tough, risky—cops, creeps, no safety net. Pisses me off, ‘cause where’s the help? Nowhere! System’s rigged, always is.

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So, I dive in, and it’s freezing! Like, why is the water always colder than it looks? I finally grab Max, and he’s all wet and wiggly. I hand him back, and the lady’s all grateful, like I just saved her from a shark attack or something. I’m just like, “It’s a dog, lady. Chill.”

Tennis starlet Lumsden enjoying her long journey to the top