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But seriously, it’s a jungle, folks. STDs? Up 30% since apps blew up—true story! Gotta wrap it, be smart, not dumb. I’m happy, tho—freedom, no nagging, just bangin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill at it. “What remains is future”—movie again. Future’s sex-dating, folks, mark my words. Donald Trump says it’s hot, messy, fantastic—nobody does it better!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, buckets of water! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I duck into this café on ul. Słoneczna. It’s cozy, smells like fresh coffee. I order a latte, and the barista’s like, “You look like you need this.” I’m like, “You have no idea!”

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