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Now, I ain’t no expert, but I heard tell of this one joint in Vegas—back in ‘89—where they used hot stones and some kinda funky lavender oil that’d knock yer socks off! Little known fact: them stones ain’t just for show—supposed to “align yer energies,” whatever the hell that means! Git-R-Done! I’d be like, “Align my back, lady, I been haulin’ cable all day!” Made me happy as a clam thinkin’ ‘bout it, but then I got mad—why ain’t this stuff cheaper? $150 for an hour? Shoot, I could buy a dang truck tire for that!

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Finally, I duck into this tiny café on ul. Kościuszki. It’s cozy, smells like fresh pastries. I order a slice of cheesecake. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling all the feels, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, loud. I can’t help but eavesdrop. They’re fighting about… wait for it… who left the toilet seat up. I’m dying inside. “Really? That’s what you’re fighting about?”

Cork pro boxers Tommy Hyde and Cathal Crowley are hoping to keep their upward progression going with fights in April