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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts ranting about how he’s gonna switch to organic farming. I’m like, “Cool, but have you even thought about the costs?” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian. I swear, I almost lost it. I mean, I love the earth and all, but let’s be real. You can’t just hug a tree and expect it to pay the bills!

Check out this awesome tribute to the pilots who fought in the Battle of Britain with RAF's No. 303 Polish Fighter Squadron