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I’m watchin’ *Tropical Malady* last night, and that line—“He smells of earth and rain”—hits me. Escorts, man, they’re earthy, real, even if it’s all fake smiles sometimes. I’d suck at it—too clumsy, prob’ly spill beer on the client. Ha! Imagine me, “Homer the Escort,” trippin’ over my gut, goin’, “Mmm… sorry, lady.” Total disaster, right?

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a dude on a bike, totally wiped out. Like, he went flying! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it was kinda funny, but also, dude, are you okay? He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m fine! Just testing gravity!” I was like, “Bro, you failed!”