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So, check this—prostitution’s been round forever, right? Oldest damn job in the book! Back in Rome, they had these Lupanar joints—brothels with freaky wall art showin you how to get it on! True shit, man, archeologists dug that up, blew my damn mind! Imagine me, Samuel L. Fuckin Jackson, strollin through Pompeii, yellin, “Motherfucker, where’s the pussy at?!” History’s wild, bro.

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Finally, we get back inside, and I’m ready to wrap things up. I check my phone, and I see the stocks are bouncing back. I can’t believe it! I’m grinning like a fool. I call my clients, and they’re all pumped. “You were right!” they say.