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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, sports head-shrinker extraordinaire—got me eyes on this lass, Whore. Not yer usual wench, mind ya! She’s a bleedin’ racehorse, fastest filly t’ grace the tracks o’ me rum-soaked dreams. Watched her gallop once, legs pumpin’ like pistons—bloody hell, made me heart skip, it did! Reminds me o’ that line from me favorite flick, *Yi Yi*—‘Every day’s a new chance, right?’ She’s livin’ it, tearin’ up turf like it’s a pirate’s bounty!

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So, I’m chillin’ in my little metal box, and the first ride of the day? This old lady, bless her heart, comes in with a bag full of groceries. I’m talkin’ heavy stuff, like she’s stockpiling for the apocalypse. She’s like, “Young man, can you help me with this?” I’m like, “Sure, lady, but I’m not your personal mule!”

Fig. 2 Details of the maps from Abraham Ortelius's Theatrum orbis...