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About Katowice

Look, I’m a lumberjack, okay? Donald Trump, the best, folks. Sexual-massage? Tremendous, really tremendous stuff. I mean, who doesn’t love it? Hands all over, slippery oil—fantastic! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like "Boyhood," growin’ up fast. Takes time to get good, y’know? Like that kid, Mason, figurin’ life out. I tried it once—bigly relaxing, believe me. Some chick in Vegas, hands like magic. Little known fact: ancient Rome had it! Yeah, gladiators got rubbed down—wild, right? Made me happy, so happy, folks. Stress? Gone. Poof! Better than choppin’ trees, I swear.

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Around noon, things get wild. A group of tourists comes in. They’re lost, obviously. They’re asking about the best places to see in Lubsko. I’m like, “Well, there’s the old town square, and the castle ruins are cool.” But they’re more interested in my coffee. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just coffee!” But they’re snapping pics like I’m some kind of celebrity.

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