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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so transactional? Where’s the *vibe*? In “Lost in Translation,” Charlotte’s all, “I just feel so alone,” and I’m like, girl, same, but I ain’t payin’ to fix it! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex workers, like, “Praise the gods, here’s my ass!” Imagine animatin’ THAT—togas flappin’, clients prayin’. Hilarious, but kinda dope.

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But then, as I was leaving, I bumped into an old friend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up chatting for like an hour. Turns out, he’s a chef now. He invited me to his restaurant. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!”

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