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So, I tried it once, right? Shady joint downtown, neon lights flickerin’. Lady’s like, “Take ya shirt off, big guy.” D’oh! I’m sweatin’ already, tractor grease still on me. She starts rubbin’, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ like Lil’ Ze slidin’ into power. “I’m the king ‘round here!” I yell in my head. Felt wild, man—happy as hell! But then, ugh, she’s chargin’ me double! Pissed me off, total rip-off vibe.

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But then, I see this group of teenagers. They’re blasting music, and it’s some awful pop song. I’m like, “Ugh, turn it down!” But they’re having the time of their lives, so I just let it go. I mean, who am I to ruin their fun?

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