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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.
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Then, outta nowhere, he slams on the brakes. I’m talking a full-on panic stop. “What’s wrong?” I yell. “A squirrel!” he shouts back. A squirrel? Seriously? I’m about to lose it. “Kowalski, it’s a squirrel, not a bear! Just drive!”
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