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Oh, and the typos—fuck, my hands’re shakin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Oil everywhere, dim lights, some weirdo music playin’—it’s chaos, mate! Ever tried it? Pro tip: don’t skimp on the oil, or it’s like sandpaper on yer bits. Hella awkward. And the smells—lavender or some shit, makes ya wanna eat the air. I reckon it’s half massage, half mindfuck—ya don’t know what’s comin’, like Lenny in *Memento*, stumblin’ blind. “Memory can change the shape of a room”—damn right, ‘specially when yer floatin’ on a table.

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First off, I grab my guitar, of course. Can’t start a day without strummin’ a few chords. I’m sittin’ on my balcony, just jamming away, when my neighbor, old Mr. Kowalski, yells at me. “Turn it down!” he says. Dude, it’s 9 AM! Chill, man. I’m just tryin’ to spread some good vibes.

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