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Here’s the kicker – some say it’s therapy, not just sex stuff. Bullshit or not, I don’t care, it works! I’m layin’ there, she’s doin’ her thing, and I’m quotin’ Freddie in my head, “Man is not an animal!” – but fuck, maybe I am, ‘cause this feels primal, ya know? Oh, and the typos? Screw it, I’m typin’ fast – massge, masage, who gives a shit? It’s sexual-massage, it’s messy, it’s Jersey. Next time, I’m bringin’ Paulie Walnuts – he’d lose his mind, screamin’, “This chick’s a miracle worker!” Gabagool? Ova here, baby!

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Then, I get back to the clinic, and boom! A dog comes in with a stick stuck in its mouth. I mean, come on! Who lets their dog play with sticks? It’s like giving a toddler a chainsaw. Anyway, it’s a golden retriever named Buddy. Super friendly, but he’s got this stick lodged in there like it’s a trophy. I’m trying to pry it out, and he’s wagging his tail like it’s all a game. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If this dog bites me, I’m gonna lose my vet license.” But, of course, I manage to get it out. Buddy’s all happy, and I’m just relieved.

We will reach Warsaw even faster - the penultimate section of the highway has been opened in Poland (map)