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What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes catfishin’ with abs they stole from Google. Gimme a break! But the good stuff? When ya actually click—rare as hell, but sweet. Like, one time I matched this artist chick, talked movies all night—*Eternal Sunshine* came up, obvs. She said, “I’m not a concept, Joel,” and I was like, swoon, marry me. Didn’t last, tho—she ghosted. Shocker.

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Then, I get back to the clinic, and boom! A dog comes in with a stick stuck in its mouth. I mean, come on! Who lets their dog play with sticks? It’s like giving a toddler a chainsaw. Anyway, it’s a golden retriever named Buddy. Super friendly, but he’s got this stick lodged in there like it’s a trophy. I’m trying to pry it out, and he’s wagging his tail like it’s all a game. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If this dog bites me, I’m gonna lose my vet license.” But, of course, I manage to get it out. Buddy’s all happy, and I’m just relieved.

Already this autumn, we will reach Warsaw even faster (map)