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About Warsaw

Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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So, I’m sippin’ my latte, and I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest pup ever. I’m talking major cuteness overload. I’m all “Aww, look at that lil’ guy!” But then, outta nowhere, the owner trips. Coffee goes flying! I’m like, “Noooo!” But it missed me. Phew!

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