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Downside? Shady spots overcharge—hate that crap! One time, I paid big bucks, and the vibe was off—sticky table, ew, gross! Felt like Brandon’s sad apartment in *Shame*, all “This is my life now.”* But when it’s done right? Heaven, baby! Oils smellin’ like sin, hands knowin’ all the spots—*pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”*—it’s my evil lil’ secret. You gotta try it, but don’t tell my sharks, they’d judge.

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Then, I see this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got a whole bag of bread, and the ducks are going wild. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, one of the ducks gets too aggressive and starts chasing her! I’m dying laughing. She’s like, “Get away, you feathered fiend!” Classic.

Profile J. Lokilo, CSKA Sofia: Info, news, matches and statistics