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I reckon it’s like in “A.I.” when Gigolo Joe says, “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many.” That’s erotic-massage – too good, too fast, and too damn temptin’! Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – thought it’d be all clinical, but nah, it’s steamy as a Louisiana swamp. Hands slidin’, music low, maybe some candles flickerin’. Oooh-wee, gets the blood pumpin’!

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So, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on ul. Słowackiego. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool chick, gives me a wink. I’m like, “Whoa, did I just get flirted with?” But then she spills hot milk all over the counter. Classic. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. She’s all flustered, and I’m just sitting there, sipping my drink, thinking, “This is the best show in town.”

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