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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! Escorts, huh? Fancy word for a gritty gig. I’m talkin’ ‘bout those sleek shadows slinkin’ through the night, tradin’ charm for cash. Kinda like Llewyn Davis, y’know? “I don’t see much money here,” he’d moan, strummin’ his woes away. Same deal with escorts—hustlin’, scrapin’ by, hopin’ for a big break. Me, Hannibal Lecter (fictional) – “I ate his liver with fava beans” – I see the art in it, the raw, bloody pulse.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the river. It’s usually my happy place. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screaming, running around like they’re on a sugar high. I’m trying to relax, but it’s like a mini war zone. I sit on a bench, and this kid runs by, nearly knocks my coffee outta my hand. I’m like, “Chill, kid! It’s not a race!”

Marin Ljubicic moves to the German Bundesliga