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About Szczecin

Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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First stop, I’m at the market on ul. 1 Maja. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, dodging babcia with her shopping cart. She’s got a death grip on those veggies, I swear. I’m just trying to grab some fresh bread, but nooo, I get stuck listening to some dude ranting about politics. Like, dude, I just want my rolls, not a lecture!

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